Love is a word without meaning,
Said without anyone thinking,
Given to another without question,
And taken without thought of loss.
An idea of the best thing in the world,
Can’t be equal to the reality of time,
Between seeing what you want,
And watching it fade from your grasp.
I look down and see a face,
Of someone that is not me,
This hollow empty shell,
Of someone I claim to be.
These words just flow out of me for fear, doubt or shame. My thoughts race as I try to keep them clear but I can’t stop my mind from questioning and I can’t keep my heart from breaking. These are the thoughts that swirl in my head tonight.
I can’t form the words, through any vocal trying,
I reach out to a world behind the screen,
For they can’t see or judge me,
You are here beside me and if I fall down,
Will you pick me back up again?
Let me speak the words on repeat in my mind,
Get lost in the chaos of all I attempted to leave behind,
Yet failed to leave in a pile on the ground,
Above your final resting place,
Where the memories you created for us should stay.
I have been listening to an amazing, out of this world band (Blue October) with moving and emotional lyrics. We all have things in our past that we attempt or want to forget or pretend never happened. That normally never works but we still attempt to ignore something and bury it thinking it won’t keep popping up time and again. Most people don’t understand that unless you honestly deal with something then it will never go away and some things are hard to just “deal” with, it takes months, years or a lifetime to work through something, especially if it was something you never asked for or expected to happen.
The world is filled with believers who fail to believe,
Forgetting to forgive those who have hurt them,
Getting lost in the doubts and fears,
Of all the things that they worry can never be.
Let me get a tourniquet to stop the blood flow,
I’d let it slowly drain out but true suffering cuts you like knife,
It lets you bleed but suddenly runs dry,
And the world after is nothing like the before.
There are words that you no longer speak to me,
When you used to be far yet I held you near,
Now your voice has fallen silent thinking my ears deaf,
You are worried about something I can see it,
But you won’t tell me and you hide behind lies.
Another weekend has come and gone and now it is the start of another week. There have been quite a few different news stories and entertainment things that could be discussed. Yesterday, I read in the Huffington Post about the President may not be doing selfies anymore, oh my (not really sure how much I care about that one), it was a big night for Country music and the industry last night, Miley Cyrus’s dog passed (another umm not sure moment), HIMYM had an alternate ending that will be able to be found on the DVD when it is released (interested to see what that is about) and of course all the other millions of things that could be discussed here, but I am again talking about something a little bit closer to home, literally.
Washington Post Article: Fort Hood Shooting