Waiting for Me to Wake (Poem)

These words just flow out of me for fear, doubt or shame. My thoughts race as I try to keep them clear but I can’t stop my mind from questioning and I can’t keep my heart from breaking. These are the thoughts that swirl in my head tonight.

I can’t form the words, through any vocal trying,
I reach out to a world behind the screen,
For they can’t see or judge me,
You are here beside me and if I fall down,
Will you pick me back up again?
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Take My Hand Again (Poem)

Some days, words just seem to flow from you. This is one of those days. Memories that knock on doors, long left closed and locked tight, then suddenly you hear a knocking and can’t seem to ignore the thoughts any longer. Sometimes we push things away to keep from feeling or dealing, but eventually we have to find a way to make peace with it, one way or another….

Tightening in my chest, for the words I long to say,
Stifled like a cry in my throat, refusing to escape,
Why can’t I just release them, remove them from my head,
So finally, for this one moment in time, I will be free at last.
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Into the Light (Poem)

I have been listening to an amazing, out of this world band (Blue October) with moving and emotional lyrics. We all have things in our past that we attempt or want to forget or pretend never happened. That normally never works but we still attempt to ignore something and bury it thinking it won’t keep popping up time and again. Most people don’t understand that unless you honestly deal with something then it will never go away and some things are hard to just “deal” with, it takes months, years or a lifetime to work through something, especially if it was something you never asked for or expected to happen.

The world is filled with believers who fail to believe,
Forgetting to forgive those who have hurt them,
Getting lost in the doubts and fears,
Of all the things that they worry can never be.
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Small Steps Make the Journey

No matter how much you love someone you can’t change them. I think being a woman it is a hard fact to realize and accept. We want so badly for the people that we love to be apart of our lives in the best way, even when they aren’t. Those of us that find ourselves in situations like this love the people who are stuck. We find that we might be moving forward but those around you either aren’t or can’t keep up.
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How We See the World

Sometimes we find the most beautiful things when we step out of our comfort zone and take a different look at something we thought that we knew. There are a lot of the time that we don’t get the chance to see things from different angles or practically in life, it’s like we can approach a situation and see it from all sides. There are people that can do this and honestly I wish that I had this ability better than what I do, but just like anything else it just takes practice.
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Liebster Award Nomination/Post

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I have been a bad blogger lately and I have just started to get back into doing this again regularly and it has been a while since I have gotten the chance really respond to things as I should. I was nominated for this award a while back, thanks so much to Franny Marie and her amazing creative, wonderful blog for the nomination, it was a shock and truly appreciated.

Without further adieu I will commence with the requirements:

11 Tidbits about little ole me:

1. Although juvenile “Dawson’s Creek” is still one of my favorite shows. Each time I watch it, it’s like catching up with an old friend.

2. I don’t quit things, but sometimes I have a problem completing them, like my writings. I get really excited and begin to go head strong, only to have that drive slowly disappear over time.

3. I wear my heart on my shelve and I believe that love is one of the one things worth always fighting for.

4. An embarrassing moment: In high school, my truck broke down on the street right in front of the school and my Principal and Vice Principal had to come and push me into the lot. Principal Drake was one of the best men I have ever known!

5. I was voted “Most Likely to Succeed” when I was in school.

6. I love organization! I keep my DVDs in alpha order and love creating to do lists and excel worksheets both for DVDs and even TV shows, crazy I know!

7. I like routines and making plans, not so much a “spur of the moment” kind of gal.

8. I hate being called “chick”, just makes my skin crawl!

9. I live with a hopeful, realistic mentality meaning that although I try to be happy and upbeat, sometimes the harshness of the world gets to me.

10. I love being near the water, it brings me peace and dares me to dream.

11. I believe that love is a fluid thing and unless you cherish and treasure it, you will always lose it.

My 11 Questions from Franny:

1. What are you working on right now in your writing life? I have my novel “False Justice”, but really my blog and writing for examiner.com has taken up much of my writing time.

2. What made you have a love for writing? Escape, just like with movies, writing and books gave me a way to escape to worlds and places that were nothing like where I was at, it gave me the ability to dream.

3. What does your writing area look like? (picture please) Sadly I don’t have one….I just write where ever I am, even at work sometimes on break. I don’t write in one area, just where ever I am that inspires me.

4. What’s your favorite book? This is so hard…favorite: K-PAX series

5. What’s your favorite season? (If Texas had seasons….) Fall, I love the changing, the mix of life and death. It’s both somber and hopeful.

6. What do you like to do in your spare time? (Writing doesn’t count) go to the theatre, watch movies, hang out with my boyfriend

7. Are you outgoing or are you a homebody? It depends, I am pretty evenly mixed.

8. What kind of music do you listen to? All kinds, which do I enjoy most? I grew up with Country and Oldies (like Bobby D, The Beatles, etc), but I also enjoy Pop, Rap, alternative, mostly anything…

9. If you could choose to either change you past decisions or watch the rest of your future in small glimpses in a 3 minute video? Which would I choose? I wouldn’t want to do either. I definitely don’t want to see my future, because then that takes away the point of living and the past has made me into who I am. I think it’s important to find acceptance for the past, but if I had to choose it would be that past.

10. Lover or a fighter? Lover, hate all fighting!

11. What state do you live in? Texas, as mentioned in question 5…. 🙂

My nominees:

1. http://words4jp.wordpress.com/

2. http://thefickleheartbeat.com/

3. http://lijiun.wordpress.com/

4. http://abozdar.wordpress.com/

5. http://awriterslifeformeblog.wordpress.com/

6. http://theunseenwordsproject.com/

7. http://danfrugalberg.com/

8. http://atopsyturvyworld.wordpress.com/

9. http://jackiesmith114.wordpress.com/

10. http://crafteaheart.com/

11. http://heatherbcosta.wordpress.com/

My 11 Questions for all my nominees:

1. What embarrassing thing happened to you that you now remember and laugh about?
2. What is one thing you couldn’t live without, anything food, person, TV show?
3. Who has made the biggest impact in your life? (I know that sounds like a scholarship essay question, but I’m interested)
4. What is your favorite book?
5. How would you spend a $100 if a stranger randomly gave it to you?
6. What causes do you support?
7. What one thing in your life has made the biggest impact on you?
8. Tell everyone a silly joke that you know isn’t “really” funny, but still makes you laugh?
9. What calls the shots for you, your heart or your head?
10. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
11. If you could have any job, what would it be?

If you made it this far, thanks again for this amazing honor and I am glad to be reaching others. Should I be lucky enough in the future to receive anything else like this, I work harder on posting it in a more timely fashion. Also please ping back to this post so that I can read all of your posts and answers 🙂

So This Is Life….

So this is life? This constant build up and let down. The back and forth of heading straight into the unknown with hope and joy, to suddenly running back in fear and disappointment. Sometimes life seems like it’s bi-polar, all of these high highs and then the lowest of lows, but then again that is how life is supposed to be right?
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