I like to dabble in photography. I really enjoy it and there are often times that I am proud of the pictures I take. I am far from a professional, but I still find joy in it. I honestly want to take a course or something in it, if I find the time. Photography is on my long list of hobbies. Who has time for those right? I want to find more time, but everyone knows how that goes.
It is all over news feeds and there is nothing but controversy around this show. I finally finished season one, why there is even the possibility of a season two?? Oh yeah, huge deviations from the book. Ok fine, Netflix, I will let you get away with the possibility of a season two since you did leave it wide open.
So how did I hear about this book? From the recent show craze? No about a year ago I stumbled upon this book. I had read a novel called “Stolen” and “13 Reasons Why” appeared as a people also liked suggestion. I read the synopsis and thought this seems bleak but sound different. The novel is almost ten years old but the reviews all seemed very praise filled.
It has been a while since I’ve posted anything. I am not sure what I was building this into before but I definitely want to try and build something.
Time goes by so quickly. I have loved and made changes and lived life. I recently got married and it has been good. Really good. We were together quite a while before and it was just the logical next step. We both work well together and though I know at times we drive each other crazy, we love each other.
I have always believed in love. I don’t know if I’ve really had a grasp of it, not really until now. I think love means something different to us all. Love is elusive and ever changing but true love lasts. I think this is true and I’d bet my life we make it. I can’t imagine not having him with me.
Anyway, I’ve been in a more thoughtful mood lately as well. So much has gone on in the world as well as my small portion of the grand production. There is so much hate and mistrust in the world and it is frightening. At times of uncertainty I retreat into books, movies, and tv shows. I escape the uncertainty of life with the craziness of Hollywood. It is a good escape.
I want to write and share again. I still have things to say, my story is far from over and I feel just getting started so this is still me. A story in my heart and flowing through my finger tips onto the screen. I believe writing and artistic expression is the best way to release your feelings, it at least works for me. I am here again on my mission, no pursuit, to find the creativity in the world and share pieces of me with each blog post I share. I look forward to this journey with you all. Let’s be creative and give even the ugliest of emotions beauty through the expression.
You need someone to hate,
Someone to throw your rage at,
Let it be me because I can take it,
I have grown to understand the fall.
Come here my love and let me give you the moon,
Only for you to turn around and tell me, you want the stars,
Come here my love and let me give you a tender hug,
So you can tell me that you needed kisses this time,
Come here my love and let me whisper in your ear,
Until later when you say, you couldn’t hear.
I am a shadow,
In the mind of the creator,
Who told me long ago,
When I was just an idea,
That this life would lead you,
Then it would bleed you,
And eventually you would end up with me.
I look down and see a face,
Of someone that is not me,
This hollow empty shell,
Of someone I claim to be.
Let the stars stop shining,
Let the rain fall continuously from the clouds,
Filling the empty places in the world,
With hollow, meaningless nothing.
Let me speak the words on repeat in my mind,
Get lost in the chaos of all I attempted to leave behind,
Yet failed to leave in a pile on the ground,
Above your final resting place,
Where the memories you created for us should stay.
Some days, words just seem to flow from you. This is one of those days. Memories that knock on doors, long left closed and locked tight, then suddenly you hear a knocking and can’t seem to ignore the thoughts any longer. Sometimes we push things away to keep from feeling or dealing, but eventually we have to find a way to make peace with it, one way or another….
Tightening in my chest, for the words I long to say,
Stifled like a cry in my throat, refusing to escape,
Why can’t I just release them, remove them from my head,
So finally, for this one moment in time, I will be free at last.