I could be taking something from the news and working on writing up my segment about having something to say, but things have been on my mind recently. Scams and relationships. I have recently stumbled upon a whole new world and my mind has gone into the realm of lies and deceit. I don’t understand why people hide themselves or things from those who they claim to love. Call me naive or stupid, whatever, but if you are going to be in a relationship then you have to be open and honest, period. Is there any other way to be?
I know that we can never really know everything about everyone, but for someone to want you to be completely open and honest with you yet they don’t do the same thing, how is that possible? How you can you ask someone to pour their heart out to you, talk about their struggles, insecurities, heartbreaks, unless you are willing to do the same thing? I know personally I can’t do it. I don’t want to begin to share my life, myself, with someone when they are not doing the same thing.
We can’t force someone to love us or to tell us about themselves, but people who are in relationships and refuse to offer their partner anything? What is the point? Love is a two way street and that is about anything. If you hide yourself or don’t share what you are thinking and feeling, time and time again, that is why people divorce and stray. You can’t love someone who doesn’t love themselves or allow you to love them. It’s not fair to you and it’s certainly not fair to the other person.
Each person has a right to their privacy and their personal space and I guess I don’t want that to get confused. I know that we all can’t walk around like an open book and we can’t tell everyone everything, but who you are with, why would you feel the need to hide or keep things from them? Shouldn’t they be the one person you can always be honest with and if you aren’t then shouldn’t you reevaluate things? Again maybe that is just me being an idealist or naive, but I can’t imagine going through life always being worried about what should I or should I not tell my partner. What kind of a life is that?
People like to use fears and excuses to make themselves feel better about why they treat a new partner a certain way, the baggage we carry. How fair is that? (I know the world isn’t fair right, but go with me here.) If you have been hurt, mistreated, taught to not trust, but then you find someone who you can trust and treats you with respect and love, why would you treat them the same way that you have treated all the other people in your past? If you are moving forward with the same reserve and manner as you have been in the past, you are just setting yourself up for the same again.
We as a species are similar, so yes a person who is good and loving might have a bad day or say something that we regret. WE ARE ALL HUMAN. That is the simple fact that people seem to forget, just because a good person does something that a “bad” person might, it doesn’t discount their whole personality and it’s unfair to start treating or reacting in a way to that person because of that one thing. People have similar behaviors, but if you can’t take each person at face value, well maybe you aren’t as ready as you thought for a relationship or for love.
Love is the thing that is worth having and fighting for, but not fighting with someone for it. You can give yourself to someone but you can only take so much. You can only ask them about what they are thinking or how they are when they are upset without getting a reply or any communication for so long. You can’t constantly be fighting with them just to speak to you, especially then if they come back and talk about how alone they feel. These people feel alone because they want to feel this way, it’s hard and scary to trust but unless you try then there is no point in doing it. You can’t try halfheartedly, because the other person shouldn’t be doing that with you. It’s unfair and it’s what kills relationships. Either both people are in eyes wide open or the relationship is doomed, period.
Trust comes from being together and overtime if it is not getting stronger then maybe you need to rethink the relationship you are in. Life is too short and precious to be wasted. We should love with our whole heart and give each love a fighting chance or if we aren’t able or willing to do that we should walk away and allow the other person to find someone they can do that with because either way both people are just wasting their time. We are all human, we all have feelings, doubts, emotions, insecurities, but those can’t dictate our lives and if they do then we need to wake up and reevaluate how we are living our lives.