Forgetting the Fear, Giving Trust (Just a humble opinion)

Why is it so hard to trust? Really it’s a very complicated question and it’s even harder to actually offer this to someone. To trust someone, to really give yourself to someone means that you open yourself up to hurt. You open yourself up to be exposed and have the potential that all you offer to someone will or might not be returned. We all have a past and people that have broken or hurt us because we offered them our trust, but how should we let that affect our lives? It’s hard to give someone a “clean slate” and not hold past hurts against them but isn’t that the only way?

Trust is something that we must earn but we have to let someone else earn it right? I think that you can be looking for someone to fail or even expect it, but to not allow yourself to see the good is wrong. It’s hard, life is hard, especially when you have been hurt, but is it worth wasting your life away carrying that around? No one can change what they have in their past, but they can look towards the future. There is a song quote that says “you start out depressed and everything comes as a pleasant surprise”, and I think that life can really be that way. You don’t have to go into something thinking it will be sunshine and rainbows, but if that is what it turns out to be why not accept it? Why deny yourself the joys in the moments that you get, because we often don’t get enough of those moments?

Once someone has been hurt, how do they move on? Is it worth the trouble of putting yourself out there again? I think that this life is filled with pain and anytime that we get the chance to experience any good, then we should take it. It’s not easy to love and trust again. If you are going or willing to try, then I think that you should deny your feelings of doubt and fear and give all of yourself over to that trust. People will let you down and disappoint you, that is just a part of life. In the end, you have to understand who the person is and where they are coming from, which of course comes from the trusting relationship you have built.

There are actions that others take and do and depending on where it comes from should be how you react. There are those who will come at you with malicious intent, but if you know that someone doesn’t come at you in that way, why treat the actions both equally? Maybe I am just naive, as I often say or maybe an idealist, but I think that people should be given some kind of benefit of the doubt, if you know them. There are those who will surprise you and hurt you beyond what you would imagine, but I think they are the exception to the rule, not the rule. I would rather live my life in a trusting state, believing and love who I am with and around, rather than living in constant doubt and fear. Life is too short and true love is too great.

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2 thoughts on “Forgetting the Fear, Giving Trust (Just a humble opinion)

  1. this is a very well written and thought provoking piece. i have been dealing with this issue for quite some time. i am a very trusting person. i have always been the person who overlooks things, allow the benefit of the doubt…i am also an enabler – a little something i picked up as a kid with an abusive alcoholic parent around the house. The combination of the two has always managed to come back and hurt me. This last go around has been the worst, because i trusted someone implicitly – more than anyone else – ever. Now i am having trouble breaking free – of seeing someone that i do not like – that being me because i let my guard down and trusted someone. yikes…it is like a never ending battle.

    • I appreciate you reading and commenting. I am sorry that you understand what I wrote about, though I think that many people do. I am sorry that you struggle with it, I think, especially as you point out, what our examples and how we are raised plays a big part in this. Our lives are so used to shaped by the events that happened when we were younger. I am sorry that you let your guard down and was hurt so badly again. I think coming back after being so hurt is the hardest, but you can come back. Trust, love relationships are the reason, not everyone will hurt you. I truly believe that.

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